The Flyting of Malkolmorir Lodfar
Composed by Erilaz Nafn and Volur Pyretta
1. And so the One-Eyed Traveler spake: "Speak now, Nafn, for not one step Farther shalt thou fare elsewise; What ale-talk here do they have within, For the heroes of The Way of Fire&Ice?"
2. And so Nafn spake: "Pay heed there, good Traveler, and hear now this tale; Of old these heroes made frith together, And wisdom and flyting they sought ere satiated they were. As twigs their foes shook, and by blood were they tried: But rich fare for Muninn in the Skald's Hall, they finally found.
3. Once were our heroes together met, And at the Wordsmith's Hall council held: And the far-famed ones truth would find On the traditions of hofuđ-nap fyri; When a baneful trullan to the proceedings did come.
4. Many brave souls did face down that cruel jotun; Called Malkomorir Lodfar, his shield-house sharp but far too diminutive. He crashed through Delling's door with a squalling and shrieking; And raising a din with 'Braids are NOT norse culture' as his song and call.
5. Citing sources with mentions of norse braids, plaits, and fine toothed combs, That rangbeinr whined on until winded about styles and writings from Saxons, Celts, Picts, and thralls; And worse yet of mere actors - history he counted for naught, Despite claims and demands otherwise from Lodfar's loose maw.
6. Thus, from their seats in the mead hall, and fully steeped in ire, Roused a band of champions bold, strangers to each other, and unbonded were they.
7. Hræfyn the Balanced, Groa the Veracious, and Storm Rowan-kin rose up to meet the beast; Maja the Resolute, and Frankie the Great, and myself - Nafn the Versed - counted among them as well. Now have I fully told the list of the Rekkar aright.
8. The host of the hall, Mind Munificent, had given freely his words to weigh, Freyr-Sword spake wise to defend culture from preying brow-stones. The Jelling Seidkona, hjarni-willow all plaited and tresses held in knots, Could not dissuade the stubborn tryllanar from it's path.
9. The Vehement did question the glance and regard of the jotunn; And The Little-Minded was struck and aghast into silence, His tittle-tattle there stiched up and sealed.
10. The Snake-Haired One quoted then Tacitus and the serpent-scale locks. Sputtering 'sticky togheter', the boorish one rallied, And feigned victimhood whilst looking to strike.
11. Keeping the peace as priority, The Unfalling then offered good faith; But the skogmoomin rejected and shunned all attempts at troth, And the gabbling idle talk resumed from Vámr.
12. 'Mayhap Svadilfari can take this trullan as his bed-fellow' Raven-Song spake mocking, And The Scrupulous One fashioned a wagnerian helm To adorn the dunga's deficient roof-ridge.
13. 'You are good at name calling' says the one whose neck is unburdened, 'but much worse iqn backning up your claims, methinks.' inanely chatters the nøkken, 'Then one more thing than you am I skilled at on this day.' The Versed quipped sharp in reply.
14. Threatening weregilds and holmgang, the eldhusfifl falters, As Havamol and Lokasenna are held to attestation; Then Hrafnal sings out 'I do so desire that we may be better strangers. Were you worth another word I shall call you a knave. Fuck off once again, and good day.'
15. Then as quick as a flash, faster than lightning in autumn, The ban hammer dropped from on high; The Unhesitating One swooped down from the rafters, Her hawk eyes having seen the whole ordeal, were glinting bright.
16. The veslingr jotunn quaked then with fear and unbearable knowing; His wyrd closes in, his life-wind stifled to a wheeze, And the nut of his breast grows heavy in it's cage. Nidhogg, waiting, breathes softly to him from Nastrond.
17. The Steadfast One burst in with a passion akin to the flames of Brokkr's forge; A swift upper strike to the caitiff's wiry beard Scattered his Gravel of Words all out on the floor. But while Ymir-Kin lay sprawling, our heroes vigilance waned not.
18. The niđingr then donned his armour of "research", and thus naked he rose to fight again. The Principled Protector spies now her moment, and takes up her round shield; A one woman wall hits the foe - the second strike breaks his arch tree in two.
19. The Bone-Crowned retrains Vamr's force of bow - the wolf-joint is bound at the quick: When struggle broke out, manhood was imperiled by chance; But Lodfar's family-stem is now stagnant and decaying.
20. Rangbeinr set forth fleeing and on his own pace posts stumbled, Into the falcon-gold rings of a new grip: The Redoubtable One now hefts back, as though with a spear; And through the hall's narrow view-slit, was the troll wholly thrown, And in hliđr scat his helmet-stand did unceremoniously come to rest.
21. Now, The Unwavering, seeing the raven-harvesters had their fill, Hoisted the hammer bestowed upon her by the Host of The Hall: With the wrath of mighty Mjolnir, and the righteous fury of Thor;
22. Maja swung the ban-hammer at the trullan's shield-house, The gathered heroes let out a great cheer; The shield-maiden hit her target solid and square, Sending him flying, post flyting, back to Jotunheim finally defeating Malkomorir Lodfar."
23. And so the One-Eyed Traveler spake: "I am delighted by this ale-talk, Nafn the Versed! Well Regaled; I take joy in the glory of these warriors from the Hall of The Way of Fire&Ice: I leave you this sign here now in blessing; A bind of runes - Gifts, Defense, Yew, and Power, To grant you all clarity of eves and strength in battle."